My Immortal by Tara Watd'yamacallit
by PenguinsPwnAll
Summary: My friend Firey-Sunset already did this, but it looked fun and I was bored so decided to write my take on the story too. Unfortunately I don't own Harry Potter, but THANK JASHIN I don't own the original My Immortal either
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way **Homophobia is wrong,**) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia **(My Grandpappie has dementia… its not nice, he thinks that I'm called John even though I'm a girl)** Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name **No duh'**) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie** That is wrong on SO MANY levels**. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white** Aaaahhh…. The fake kind**. I have pale white skin **(Do you think she realises that this is because she's a 'vampire'?)**. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth **HOLY MOTHER OF SPUDS REALLY!**(in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there** I know my friend who also did the commentary on this pointed this out but there is no Hot Topic in England…. Or Scotland, or I'm pretty sure any where else in Europe... None at all**. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **EW! Pink Fishnets.** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. **Well then, it's a good job you're in England** A lot of preps stared at me **That would be because you're dressed like a slut**. I put up my middle finger at them. **Now now, swearing just isn't nice.**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **DUN DUN DUN!**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends (**Friends… Really?)** call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good?** NEVER!** PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom **MY GOD WHAT A SURPRISE!**. It was snowing and raining again** Don't you just love English springtime ^_^**. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had **….Yum?**. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet **gross** with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of**f (sorry… slight OCDness there)** my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead** of what? Wearing nothing?**, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **I think most of this chapter consists of her describing what people are wearing.**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets **Me thinks someone is growing an obsession with fishnets** and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **OMFG! WHO SAYS OMFG?**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing **It's just talking… It's not like you flashed him or anything**.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **GEEEEEEEEZ KID! As my brother would (not) say "take a chill pill"**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily **I'm interested in how that works… She said Hi**.

"Guess what." he said. **What?**

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favo**u**rite (**Hogwarts is in England)** band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. **Things moving fast between you and Draco aren't they?**

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **But its so very very fun** odderwize **Is that what the call the old wise otters?** fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN!** Um… Your welcome?** oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **If you did, I would be very disappointed.**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff** Corset stuff…. Not an actual Corset but just the stuff from it?** on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet **Im going to pat my dog on the head everytime she mentions Fishnets and see how long it takes for her to retaliate.. So One.** on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky **I never realised that you **_**Could **_**make long hair spiky… Maybe I should try it**. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists **Lovely**. I read a depressing book **To make yourself more depressed?** while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC **Wait wait wait….. Since when did vampires bleed? They're dead… They have no blood to bleed, so that brings up the question of whose blood is she wasting?**. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway** But then why do it earlier in the story**. I drank some human blood **Thaaaat's whose blood she's wasting… some poor human's** so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too **Is it just me, or are Simple plan and Good charlotte opposite music genre's?**), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!** You what?**).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666 **…. Why?**) and flew to the place with the concert **The driving age in England is 18… Do Draco's Mamma and Pappa know that he's breaking the law? Actually... I just found out its 17... THanks for correcting me Milly x x... Yeah I live in England too... I just always thought it was 18...**. On the way we listened excitedly **I thought you were depressed… Someone's a wee bit bipolar** to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.** That's not a very good influence is it?** When we got there, we both hopped **like a bunnyroo or a Kangabbit** out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down **so you **_**moshed**_ **in the **_**mosh pit **_as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song **MY GOD REALLY?**).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **No he's sad because he finally realised who he's with**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. **Now he's just faking.**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **You really are just a lovely person.**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. ***mysterious voice* Thaaat's what yoooou thiiink.** After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz **I'm not good with cars…. Is that a good car or a bad one?**, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **SACRE BLEU! B-b-but th-the forbidden f-f-forest i-is F-F-F-FORBIDDEN**

**HEY! WELL DONE TARA THIS IS MORE THAN ONE WORD PAGE!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **LOL! AND YEAH STUP FLAMING OK** nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! **After two days? **dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **I'm sure that if I could understand that it would answer my question.**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **Driving into the Forbidden Forest… You stated that at the end of the last chapter….**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **Someone has Bipolar issues.. Curious - angry**

"Ebony?" he asked. ** I thought she was called Enoby.. Why doesn't she shout at him?**

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close **Extra mega nose touching close?** and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing colo**u**r contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness**?** and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I **just as I?** Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree **poor tree**. He took of my top and I took of his clothes.** WOAH WOAH CALM IT DOWN! THIS STORY IS RATED T!** I even took of my bra **Wow**. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time…**….. I have nothing to say to that…. Waaaaait…..**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm.** I thought you'd already done it…** We started to kiss everywhere **this is very bad phrasing as dirty minded people everywhere are cringing at the images formed** and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore! **I think this is the perfect moment to say "HOLY POTS AND PANS WHAT AN ENTRANCE!**

**Aaaaaahhhh I see we're back to our mediocre lengthed chapters Tara.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **Really… How?** Da only reson Dumbledeor** Is that dumbledores version of the perfume?** swor is coz he had a hedache ok **That's a bad excuse for bad language** an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws **Don't get your hopes up Tara**!

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **WOW! THAT'S SUCH A COOL INSULT! Maybe that's how she'll get five good reviews!**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **STOP RIGHT THERE! When did they get dressed? Of course teachers would be angry if they were woken up because of the two nude students in their offices. **

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?"** :O MY GOD ANOTHER COOL INSULT! SOMEONE'S ON A ROLL** asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked **That brings a funny image to mind =D**. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **Steady on there…. **

Everyone was quiet. **Then there was a sudden explosion, killing Enoby and correcting the insane OOCness of the Harry Potter characters, a magic penguin and her pet Bonanagator appears smiles and rids everywhere of the last traces of the evil he-troll.** Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **I think when I'm in trouble at school I'm just going to say BECAUSE I LOVE HER! To the teachers so they'll let me off.**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. **It's Enoby Draco… Get it right.**

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out…. **Interesting….. Does that mean that you wear high heels to bed?**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **But you knew he was there… It said a couple of lines up that you both went upstairs together.** We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he **'**reluctantly**'** went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. **Of course, I mean were else do people wake up?** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **My friend has superman earings, they're cool**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. **Why blood not, milk or tea or coffee** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **How very dare they?**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **Yeah because that makes it ok.** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face **You were going down his face… that makes no sense at all..** and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. **Ofc because that would make this story unrealistic** He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent **He's English….. I'd be worried if he had any other accent**. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **O.o**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **Oh dear kami, what has she done?**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled **Again O.o**.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed **Hrrrrmmmmm very nonchalant there Enoby**.

"Really?" he whimpered. **Yeah because NOW he's scared**

"Yeah." I roared. **Why roar… Are you a lion now too?**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.** Heh heh heh….. What kind of surprise? ;)**


	7. Chapter 7 Bring me 2 life

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws** God reviewed? Were they bad ones?**. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **I love the tinman… he deserves to be god, he's funny **STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS!** Being a Satanist isn't an excuse for not being a Mary sue.** n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **I think it's just you with the problems Tara.**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish **From the little I understood there, She's wearing red nail polish even though it said the line before that it was black** (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?** Yes**). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes.** Aaaaahhh not just the normal type of misery….** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco **Riiiiiiiight**. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively **instead of assertively or aggressively?** and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. **Aaaaaw how romantic.** Then I took off my black leather bra **Well THAT sounds uncomfortable** and he took off his pants. **Wait… What about her pants was she just not wearing any?** We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid? **Yes**)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm **Oh wonderful… nightmares…** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. **It's a tattoo**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **:O THAT IS SUCH A HORRIBLE STEREOTYPE!**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **Well then why would we?** I stomped out **You said.** and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **What did cannibal boy do?**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! **But flossing is good…** if u do den u r a prep! **Well then, you're an insufferable poser**

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **Well, I would think that a naked crazy person does cause a lot of staring.**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **Hmmmm….. that sounds like it would be an interesting noise.**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. **She could smile more?** She flipped her long waste-length **Waste spelt like that means either rubbish or human waste ;)** gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. **Obviously** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires **But I thought vampies had red eyes anyway so why the contacts? **and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it**…**. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. **When I die I'm going to haunt my pet Armadillo… But first I have to get an Armadillo…** It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **Gryffindor could have Satanists. Just very brave ones, who have grown a pair of Ovaries.**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **Seriously, these insults should be written down somewhere.**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" **DUN DUN DUN** I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped. **As my very weird friend would say LE GASP**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **That's because you spelt her name wrong.** I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. **Happy people are fun… You should try being happy.** We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **Is this speech?**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire. **That's what you think O.o**

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **Calmit calmit…** I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility** Is that a type of potion that he stole from you?** to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. ***Sob Sob,* I can feel my last braincell slowly dying!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! **Is that a type of dance?** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **Ol' Dumby doesn't swear in the movie..** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! **WELL THAT MAKES IT OKAY THEN! NEXT YOU'LL BE SAYING THAT 'IT'S HIS TIME OF THE MONTH'** and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes Christian **But he's a wizard…. Maybe snap doesn't like Vampire because Vampire is a cannibal** and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX **Im going to get a pet rock (Maybe one that lives near my pet tree) and right MCR on it**!

I was so mad and sad. **She's a poet and she didn't know it. **I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. ***Shudders***

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose **OMG ITS GOLEM! Is it just me who thinks he's cute in a scary way.** and everything **Everything… Even the trees and the floor and ummm.. everything..** started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose **Yeah we figured that when you said no nose in the first description of him **(basically like Voldemort in the movie **And the book**) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! **REALLY! I HAD NO IDEA!**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius*!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks**!" I shouted at him. **…. I…. Have nothing to say…. It's too easy…. I think I may shout it at people when I go back to school though… **Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. **MY GOD HOW COULD SHE!** I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **Stop saying a cat's name at him? Maybe she's also THROWING cats at him**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **Thou?**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes** ..Wait.. I thought it was Golem…** and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. **If I admit that I don't know who that is will anyone hurt me?** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **Neeeever… that's not possible**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. **What about her wand?**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **Again.. Thou? Shall?**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. **Hey, that's the face I have well reading this…** "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. **O.o** "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **Someone should tell Voldy that saying things like Thou, Doth, Hath and Shall doesn't make him sound smarter.**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. **Aaaaawwww where did the rhyming go?** Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **Well, that was sudden**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **Hello**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit **no**) between Joel Madden **Why do so many people look like Joel Madden? Is no one unique anymore? **and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered. **He does look sad… Isn't the fact that he's not okay obvious?**

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled**…. Like expelling air or getting expelled from school… If only she was expelled… life would be good again**.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **…. Necessary information… I think not.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **Swearing is not the answer… Violence maybe… but not swearing** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle** Did you not keep track at all? No, we all knew that she wasn't a muggle, but a muggle**_**born **_afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses **Did their parents not like the fact that they were evil so they decided to move out** ok!

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. **Maybe that's because you think he's called Vlodemort…** I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. **Of course… She's a musician too…** I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **That would sound awful…** The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo **Why?** now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.** NOOOOO WHAT DID YOU DO TO RON! WHY OH WHY?**) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that **But you did…. My friend pointed this out too… a **_**cross **_**between GC, etc.**) or a steak **As a vegetablist I am disgusted with the misuse of meat products…. Kill a cow, eat it don't slap people with it.**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride **I think that's quite a happy movie ^_^**. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.** Aaaahhh but you are.**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **No she's called Enoby.**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. **She was just asking.** And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character? **Yes… Draco doesn't swear or accuse people he 'likes' muggle bitches.**)

I started to cry and cry **What's new?**. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. **I'm pretty sure that last time he was angry it was because you were caught having sex**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y **no… the only time he has ever cried was when he was dead and when he thought about his family**) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."** Aaaahhhh, you silly contradictive imbecile… in the first chapter, you said and I quote "**. _I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak_**." I'll take that as point proven *Cheesy victory smile***


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! **Never I tell you… NEVER!** c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 **Of course it is!111** it delz wit rly sris issus! ***Snorts* yeah.. right** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **This was done with help…. Please froggie movie! I NEED MORE QUOTES!**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! **Is that a special type of horror movie?** B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. **Bit Harsh isn't it…** Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **Yeah that's the first thing on his mind after a student just killed themselves.**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily ***SPLASH!*** while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. **Seriously… SOMEONE TAKE AWAY THE MEAT!** I was so fucking depressed! **What a change** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. **I have to say.. Skull earrings would look pretty cool** I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! **He was chewing on the tape?** They were sitting on their broomsticks. **I think wee Tara may have gotten over her obsession with fishnets… This makes Beaver boy the platypus dog very happy.**

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" **I know a perv… Or at least someone who'll most likely become a perv… I call Monsieur Potthead... Probably obvious why. That's probably one of his nicer nicknames** I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. **That's a lot of detail to take in for someone whose just noticed that there's a peeping tom outside her window** Suddenly Vampire ran in. **Does he not count as a perv?**

"Abra Kedavra!" **…. LOL… The magic words for an evil magician…** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb** O.o Is that… Possible?**. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. **What about her wand?** Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, **ENOBY! **it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly… **Suddenly….**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. **Wow that's some crazy wand waving…**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **Little.. Is this Hargrid a different person to the real Hagrid?**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…. ** But he's not**" Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **OH! MY! GOD! *Insert Janice from friends here please***

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." **…. What? Where did factors come in here? When did we start doing Maths?**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **Do you think someone added the elephant in there as a joke to see if she's notice? **"The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **So… Like a normal person?**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **Why are his hands dirty? O.o**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **…**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE….** Quote from earlier "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"**" Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, **Like Gramatically but with a D** waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **Plehc… Why wouldn't snape no what 'goffic' meant? He's not stupid?**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **HEY! WOW I WAS RIGHT! I ACTUALLY DIDN'T READ AHEAD EITHER!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! **I'm going to tell my American friend this… BEWARE she WILL hurt you though…** how du u no snap iant kristian **Because… He's not** plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **Hopefully not the Cedric from the movie… Yuk… And your just making it up because people that your story is stupid…**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. **Why would he do that.. he might need it..** He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! **:O I'm utterly transfixed!** You could only see his red whites. **What?**

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." **Now this is just over the top…** he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! **You said** Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **….**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. **I thought you were only about to do it.** Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles **No St. 'Mango's' is a hospital… its Azkaban you're after** and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. **Like you?** Dumbledore had constipated **What an unfortunate typo…** the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby **Hey he got it right** I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. **That's just lazy **serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." **You were wearing pink fishnets… Riiiiiight at the beginning… I commented on it…** I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. **But he saved you from loopins womb…**

"No Enoby." **Hey got it right again.** Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses. **Plehc**

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video **Yeah you have 'lemons' but won't say porn. ** made from you're **his?** shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong **No… but I thought they were mastication it?**) to it he **he?** added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. **yup**

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . **SPEECH MARKS YOU DOOFUS!**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. ***snorts***

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." **For a spell** Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio **Pathetic spell… just pathetic**(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl! **Frankly Raven… I'm ahamed **)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. **:O HOLY MOTHER OF SPUDS THE BLACK FLAME IS BLACK? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?** Now I knew he wasn't a prep. ***snort***

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **A cauliflower?**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore **One B Dumby…** said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT ** No**) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. **Talking to Enoby Haggy** dUMBLydore lookd shockd **That's because you actually can't spell his name**. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **Still not talking to you Haggy**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets **Awwww my poor wee Bonanagator… TWO!** and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off! CROOKSHANKS! CROOKSHANKS CROOKSHANKS CROOKSHANKS!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **Plehc… I'm sorry.. For those (most) of you who don't know what Plehc means, you should know it's a noise of extreme distaste.**

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. **I'm pretty sure that saying someone looks like a piano isn't a good thing….** "Fangs (geddit **no**) you do too. **Maybe it is then…**" I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **… I thought she was a vampie?** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. **Why… You don't learn anything…** Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **Heh heh heh… I wanna be in the hair of magical creatures… One BIG creature though **He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **Poor Hufflepuff**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wquallysaid **I like the wombats…** way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **And you said you weren't a slut…**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" **Yup… added to my list of insults** shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. **You jumped each other… It said that like 5 lines ago?**

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **Hmmmm… has this happened before?**

"NO!" I ran up closer. **No I'm certain…**

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **It's like Deja vu**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **But it's really just tara being stupid…**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **But you were thanking her? You can't thank someone then swear at them… It doesn't make sense…**

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **You're a sweater… Now life makes sense =D**

**MY PENGUIN TARA! JUST OVER TWO PAGES!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Alrighty then... Sorry it took so long... I've had to chapter 16 on my computer for about a month now but due to laziness never bothered to put them up... Me thinks that each chapter is written at a different time... so please try not be confuzzlied**

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! **I'm sorry… But I just looked at a picture of Gerard way… And he's not **_**that **_**goodlooking****… I mean, he isn't bad looking… But obsession worthy?** PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **Dumblydore came where?**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" **Check! Yup that's on my list of insults too…** he asked angrily.

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. **IN UNISON! =)**

He laughed in an evil voice. **Evil Dumbly? Hrrrmmmmm….**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **Don't what.. laugh? Be happy?**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn **Yeah NOW she avoids swearing** what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." **Hehehe.. 'misbehaved.'** he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **Don't you think Dumblydore's a nice headteacher? 'Yeah yeah I don't care, let the evil guy have draco… he was a despicable snob anyway'** then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! **But… You make CONSTANT Homophobic comments… I think I may go back and count them… Well maybe not that many so far… But I just skimmed and there is more than there should be **)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. **Did tara just remembered that they were wizards? What happened to the gun?** Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!*"  
It was….. Voldemort! **Not God?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hehehehe…. Sorry… I've decided that reading is MUCH more fun than going on the computer, so recently the only time I go on the computer is to do coursework…. I am currently reading A Swift Pure Cry by Siobhan Dowd, which someone should recommend to Tara… Annnnnnyyyyyyway….**

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen **Raven… for the sake of us all just go… Your not improving anything!**. im sory ah kudnt update **We, on the other hand, are not** but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists **Very Nonchalant there Tara…**. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **I've said it before and I'll say it again… God is NOT going to review!**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY** Scray? Scary? Spray? Scrap? Crap?**. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD **Does she realise what excretion is? I hope not….**.

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. **:O** Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail **Awwww, The cute lil child of Nagini and Wormtail! O.O** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun **Me and my friend were running round school pretending to shoot people with banana's today… Was Harry doing the same to 'Snaketail'?** he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. **He said Dot…** (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) **That's one creepy dot….**

"Huh?" I asked.  
"Enoby **THANK JASHIN HE GOT IT RIGHT!** I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. **O.O** I started laughing crudely. ***wiggle eyebrows*** "What the fuck? You torture my bf **I thought he tortured Cedric?** and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." **From the repeated word 'Fuck' There, I think she may actually want to have sex with him…** I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **Ahhhh… Like in those crappy Horror movies she probably watches….**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. **Like a chicken :'(** I brust into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. **Hush Voldy… You're not Shakespeare…** Then… he started coming! **BAD MIND! BAD BAD BAD! ** We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. **Simples.** We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. **I just checked, and Draco did infact commit suicide in chapter 10…. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that, Draco is an immortal beaver-gnome** He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah **no**) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **And everything…. What is this everything? Actually… Nevermind I don't wanna know…**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded **The yield is to do with the amount of product made in chemistry… SEE MISS I DO LISTEN!**. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **… I don't even need to comment here… Everyone knows what I'm thinking…**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco. "_**Hollywood whore, Passed out on the floor, I'm sorry but the party's over"**_

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me!** Oh no….** Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. **They thought you were a rabbit… They were just filming a nature programme** Hargrid says he's in love with me. _**'Says'**_ Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! **OH THE HORROR! Snaketails dead… Poor Nagini… ** I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" ***snort*** I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing ***snort*** but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty ***snort***) "Im good at too many things!***snort*** WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" **I'm beginning to sound like a pig…. Or my hybrid dog, Whilst asleep….** I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok!** Quick, Simple solution…. Stop updating….** btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein _**"PAIN! WITHOUT LOVE!"**_!

"Ebony Ebony!" ***Enoby Draco.** shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad. **DUN DUN DUNNN**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" **Because that's what he does when she's not around *Eye roll*** I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key.** Important? Thought not…** It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. **Hrmmmmm….. I can't see it… **I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. **O.o** Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets **Ahhh.. Is it three now…. Poor Beaver boy the Platypus Dog just gave me a hurt look…. I swear she's not actually a dog….** and boots that said Joel **OMG I HAVE A FRIEND CALLED JOEL! I'LL TELL HIM THE SLUTTY GIRL HAS SHOES WITH HIS NAME ON!** all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out ** Out where?**. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. **Plehc, Cheer up silly slut… Life's not all bad** I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar **Biology… Pentagram… Guitar… I can see the relation**. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **!**

"Enoby I love you!" **^_^ He got it right.** he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. **Then I met you and I finally did! That was when I realised I'm an immortal beaver-gnome!** Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!. **Lol jks..**" Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it** Don't be silly… Joel can't sing**) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson **That would sound stupid** (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot.**No not really… My friends mum finds Gerard kinda good looking, but I don't think that counts.** if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr! **YOU CAN'T MAKE US LEAVE! YOU'RE POWERLESS**) .

"OMFG." **Who says that? Really? No-one even types it anymore!** I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now** This sounds complicated… Swearing whilst holding hands…**) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM **who?** in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. **Yeah, that's what happens when you start sucking faces in class.** Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then **:O**. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **And I somehow 'fell' off a cliff. T-t-t-t-t-that's all f-f-f-folks**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok **Chimney sweep**! proov 2 me ur nut prepz **Why? I like being a prep its fun… I dunno what it means, but I don't care.**! Raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! **She's your only friend, you should be nice.** BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese **Oh God what now?**!

We ran happily **O.O** to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly **O.O**. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! **The worlds gonnna end!** Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. **CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE** I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. **Five….** Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched **Je parle de Francais… Mais un peu.**. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **NOOOOOOOO DON'T LET THE DEALERS GET YOU!**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" **? Ahhhhh THIS is what an un 'beta'd' story looks like….**

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted **^_^ Inspector Gadget** uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **What guys do you know?**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT. **:O**"

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?" **He just can't seem to win, can he?**

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Enoby! **^_^** I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened **Hopefully by a mountain** cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **Awwww This romance is making my heart beat faster!**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched **BONJOUR! Salut! CA VA! CA VA BIEN MERCI! =D ** 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex **This makes me think of a really sad brand name for glasses** Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in Japanese **Is it necessary to include?**). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses **Klasses Glasses… The only glasses made 'specially for YOU** and she skepped math. **When does Enoby ever go to class?**" (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. **You're not a nice person**

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. **Ahhh…. The world is safe** We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **Is this a 'goffic' remake of nightmare before Christmas?** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. **NICE!**

"Kawai. **Piano to you too!**" B'loody Mair **:O SOMEONE HURT A HORSE!** shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly.. .**.. What?** "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak. **Presuming she means necrophiliac here**"

"Kawai. **Pia-pia-piano piano piano!**" I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence **WOW! MAJOR SKILLAGE!** for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." **She means sluttiest**

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally **Omfg totally? She calls other people preps and posers? **lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" **YEAH BLOODY MARY! HOW COULD YOU SUGGEST CHANGE? WHAT A POSER! Wait sorry that's not tara language… I meant: Yea B'loody Mair! Hoe cud u gussegt range? Wot a POSER!**

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me **But… YOU said it to us!**!). Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." **So technically it wasn't ol' dumbly that told her then** She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY **WOW** for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE **So why say it? It's like me saying: I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH PENGUINS EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE I AM or SUPER SILLY SAUSAGE SALAMANDARS DON'T EXIST EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE THEY DO** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." **Oooooooooohhh**

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! **** Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch. **HOW RUDDY WELL DARE THEY!**" He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, **Someones a wee bit full of themselves** running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan **Really?** you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot. (**Slutty)**" said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA **Why is Tara in caps?** way what's yours?" **Wait… Who goes round saying their full name… I don't go up to random people saying Oh btw my names Agatha Crinkletoe Superman Beezlewax (That's not my name)**

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" **He only said he might see you…** I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **THERE'S A GIANT SHREW TRYING TO EAT THE DIVINATION TEACHER!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

**Yeah… I just read through this and saw all of my spelling and grammar mistakes… I'll try not to make many more.**

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. **I think you should take it Tara.** if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! **You are a horrible person.**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. **But you shouted at him… He's a weird fellow isn't he?** (hes bisezual **Tara stereotypes so much… It's almost incomprehensible… Belinda would be proud of that Big word**). Hargird **Harharhar** kept shooting at us to cum **My dirty mind is going into overdrive** back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." **It doesn't help that she's now talking about fucking** Well anyway Willow came. **;)** Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." **She spelt it right!** she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything **Everything? Very specific…**. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy **Again Corsett thingy? So, like a corset… But not actually **with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets **But wee hybrid dog is at the other side of my room….** and black poiny **Pony boots** boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs **Big Bobs =D Is there huge guys named Bob walking round in front of her?** and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **But in this story every ones a mary sue, so I'm guessing she's not**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong **** with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came **;) **. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO POOR WONWON?** Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart **Like a horror version of the American walmart** was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel _**Neville**_ but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed **Hair dye?** in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula **I thought it was Dracola** now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik **no**) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. **Rated T my arse** Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed. **Fingers crossed that means she fell down a ginormous gap in the floor leading to the centre of the earth, *gasp for air* so she can then be eaten by a huge dinosaur, then spat out because she wouldn't taste good… *rests fingers***

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix **Those darn piskie's… My friend is a fridge piskie… maybe you've met her…**. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder **where did the wise ol' otter go?** songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **ACH! RUN! Wait… is Death a new type of drug?**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily **Angst**. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" **Hush child**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu **ACHOO! AGGADOO!** in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair **Lungs in his hair?** and a looong **Not just long.. Loooooong** black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted **Little kid grammar that I use often** a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! **:O! HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS SPUD!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep!** Have you ever thought that some of us may enjoy being happy? Eh? Eh? EH?** fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuff **Please raven… Stop this MADNESS**. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter **Is that a brand of sewing machine?**! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! **Yeah guys! Don't be so silly! DUH! (Sorry… enjoying capitals today..)**

I woke up the next day in my coffin **Where else would you wake up?**. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. **That would look hideous. **

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit **No** skull koz im goffik n I like deth **No**). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff **Broom stuff.. What is this Broom stuff?** was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom **Bang!**. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song** Yuck. That is gross… I'm going to have nightmares now**. **Why the bracket? -**)

Well anyway **Anyway **I went down to the **Cheese **Grate**r** Hall. There all dawalls were painted black and da tables were black too. **Why? Is Hogwarts evil now?** But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant **Who is wearing these pants? Is it winter, because in summer you would overheat in two pairs of pants..**. And there were pastors **Is that something to do with Religion?** of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **Backstreet boys? Have we gone Back to the nineties?**

"WTF!"** *sighs* What now?** I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets** Bonanagator isn't very happy today… I don't think im going to pat her on the head… but does anybody know what number I got up to?** and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets **Number after unknown number**. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey **Mikey? Hey Micky!** or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong **or Rupert Grint?**. The boys joined in cause they were bi. **Ofc**

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel **Naaaavvveeelll… Hrrrmmm…. Neville?** was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **He died his rabbit black? Isn't that animal cruelty?**

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!**!1?%^**" we all gasped. **:O**

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" **Again… Voldemort is so angry because no one spells his name right..**

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted **When I was younger I used to say 'bisgusting'** and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1**!123456!**.

"BTW you can call me Albert."** But why would Ol' Dumbly say that? He's called Albus!** HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we** Oui Oui** to Transfomation **Transfiguration**. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, **No** way lik Gerard **I don't want to lik Gerard!**) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis! **Isn't he a little old for that?**" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry. **Ofc**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise** That's nice.**

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ***snorts*** ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz **… What?**!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod **ah poorblod… is that when your blood is poor? Just don't drink it…** so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned **… Phone who?**, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes **Well stop doing it if it makes you sad**. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve **Is that a new volcano? Mt sensitive… **bi guyz so hot).

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare **Where are all these rabbits coming from?** went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz **Is Borken a type of Troll? It would make a good troll name**. He was wearing black baggy paints **The best kind of paints**, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit **No** insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. **A belly fing instead of belly ring?** My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik **No one will**)

"Accuse me? **No.. He's not accusing anyone… Don't be so shellfish** What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" **Draco's buying butts **he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. **What did you herd?** I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring**ing is what im doing now**. Draco banged on the door. I whipped **my hair back and forth** and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces **Down your faeces? Gross..** like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video **OH MY GAWD IT RELLY IS!1! 3**!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot ***Snorts* Hrmm… Is that how people in America smoke weed?**.

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated. **That is genius**

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot ***CRASH!***. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?" **;) What do you think?**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid **Har har har**. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"** I would say clothes… But in Tara's case you can only hope that she is…**

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped. **Nooo… He could have meant Newton Faulkner.. Except at the moment he's not cool enough to like Newton… Or Beethoven wannabe's**… **Or an Opera concert**

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u." **O.o**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20. **596 words… WELL DONE TARA!**

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! **I don't know what this means but I think its something about a talking donkey..** stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz. **Hopefully ever again.**

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder **ledder?** Mini **mini what? Shoes? Skirt? Wig?**, a blak corset with urple **is this a new colour? I think I have urple eyes…** lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots **Because normal sized boots are not good enough.**. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. **Slit her wrists while she moshed… Is that not extremely dangerous?** Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes **I thought she was already dressed… maybe she's trying on black clothes **_**over **_**her black clothes…. *Strokes imaginary moustache* hmmmmm…..** and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again. **Well, we don't wish 'dat' so don't do 'it'**

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! **:O WOW! THIS STORY JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!** "R u gonna cum rape me or what. **Yes… because that's why he knocked**" I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.** Whut?**

"No, actshelly (geddit, **no** hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns. **He's condemning maths**" he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" **You're a mighty presumptuous girl, OC who I do not seem to be able to remember the name of… **I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong ***gooooooong* **away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation.** Ofc… because vampires really need to be any more pale…** Then I went. Den I gasped… **Then… Den… Make your mind up..**.Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 **HEY LEAVE DOBBY OUT OF THIS MADNESS YOU CREEP!**

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. ***sniff* poor Dobby… At least she spelt his name right.** Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on **Why is Ben turned on?** (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor **Huh?** now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat **She says whilst spelling 'spelld dat' wrong**)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin **Lumpkin… That's what you call a pumpkin version of Lupin** shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed. **Why?**

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily.** BANG BANG YOUR DEAD! FIFTY BULLETS IN YOUR HEAD!** And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything. **And theyre the pervy ones.**

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?" **I agere wid dem**

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So **ENOBY!** now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork **:O How rude!**. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound ** OMFG! SHE'S THROWING INJURIES!** at them and dey tripped over it. **OMFUCKINGG THEY FELL OVER HER INJURIES!** Well anyway, **Anywaaay** I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum. **O.o **" Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather **What an interesting play on words… I Geddit… **_**Dog**_** father.. If this was done on purpose she would be a genius** Serious Blak **ARE YOU SIRIUS! WOW!** had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it.

….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out **Whut? I geddit… when draco isn't there you're free to cheat… but of course its not your fault…**, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. **HOLY MOLEY! I JUST GOT A GIGANTIC SHOCK FROM MY LAPTOP!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!** I will translate that to what I think it says: Frogs are ok.. Your frock sucks. I'm a nut and it's my fault, if it's a wrong spell its because of the female dog rat tavern. I drink there a lot (I think she just missed that bit). My cousin wears frocks, you stupid happy people! Whoops sorry ravens fangs. You really helped. Oh and Transilvania rocks hrad (never been there..)! I even gutted two gotwoda's for the casserole, were dorkula was flimsy!**

Later we all went in the skull. **OH NO THE DARK MARK!** Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide. **(again)**

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. **At least someone's comfortable** "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too. ***winkwink***

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone **Tara never ceases to amuse me… Homophone…** den fuk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. **Strong stuff that invincibility coke…** We both gut under it. **I'm imagining two people with coke sprinkled on them…** We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand. **What a trick… It's the cravendale advert all over again….**

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. **Apparently Mr Norris isn't a very good Janitor** He went unda da invisibility cloke **Wheredid this invisibility cloak come from? I thought they were under coke **and started to meow loudly. **MOOOOOO**

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris. **You've got to be shitting me…**

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast **DEIDARA! (Naruto character for those silly peoples who don't know who he is)** in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. **My mind is literally blown.** Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked.** What cloak? I want some of this magic coke though..** Filth nodded. **WOW! Talking dirt!** And then….Vampir frenched **BONJOUR!** me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1 **SALUT!**

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school. **Whut?**

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?" **Yes… from what you have just observed Draco is perfectly fine.**

"I guess though." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid **IN YOU ENDO! **(c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed **Bed? What happened to the coffin?** together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. **Is that really a vision? **There was a knok on the door and Fug **mmmmm… Fug is my favourite sweet!** and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1**!1!2!1%**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu!** Stuff you too!** prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of **That's just weird… why would anyone lick your story? **I no itz mr**s**. nor**r**is itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 **You know.. if I was Raven I would get extremely annoyed with these 'Fuk you Ravens nevermind you rok'**

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. **Sounds about right** Well anyway, **anywaaaay..** I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin **I'm so confused.. Does she sleep in a coffin or a bed?** so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. **Ach… that sounds horrible… **Then I gasped. **OH NO WHAT IS GOIN TO HAPPEN! **

Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! **OH DEAR KAMI NO :O**

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. ***sigh* this is going to go on for a while isn't it?** Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy **Not just normal sexy…**. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' **What a disgraceful t-shirt company.. Don't even bother to spell the design right** and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny **Oh… must have missed her in the books**) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire **ofc… it just wouldn't be right otherwise**. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. **How sa.. Wait… What?** He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. **I think I want to be part of this stanism religion….**

"OMFG" I yielded **Like a sword.. or a baseball bat.. Anyone ever yielded a baseball bat? It's fun..** as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?" **Maybe they just wanted to say hello!**

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. **See! Even Draco doesn't like the story!**

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily. **O.o **

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii **Oh.. have we stopped calling people piano's now?** anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective. **Heh heh heh….**"

"I will I will." he said. **She doesn't know why he's all erective… I thought they'd done 'it'**

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. **Poor widow** A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.** Niiiiiiice** Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork **T_T poor ol' dumbly is so misunderstood**. Cornelia Fudged **this made me laugh so much…** was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD **WOOF! Although… now I think about it… D and B aren't really close enough to mix up on the keyboard… How'd she do it? Hmmmm **IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" **maybe he should work out a bit more..** yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! **HEY! THAT IS NOT FAIR! AND TOTALLY UNNECESSARY! *Mutters evilly*** YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt **I once wrote that in an English essay… my teacher was not pleased… but my friend accidently called one of the characters a hoe which is worse.** we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." **OH SWEET STAN! THIS STORY IS AMAZING! PLEASE MAKE HER WRITE MORE OF IT!**

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 **Yeah! Dhut da fok up!** ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 **Bad/sympathy reviews don't count** fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge**d** stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum **What has dumbly ever done to you?** and Rumbridge sawed us. **And Cornelia didn't do anything?**

"MR. WAY **Mr… yup sounds about right** WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!" **Too… many… jokes!**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between **Dark'ness** and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. **;)** They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo **who?**. I eight some Count Chocula **Whut… isn't that cereal?** and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! **Oh my gosh** He and Draco were shooting at eachother. **BANG BANG! YOU'RE DEAD! FIFTY BULLETS IN YOUR HEAD… I think we all know how this rhyme goes…**

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1" **I read this and choked on my biscuit..**

"No I do!" shouted. **Oh hello full stop…its nice to meet you**

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv **no… if it said 'jumped Draco' then we would make a pervy joke**) They started to fight and beat up each other. **I have a solution… Sacrifice Enoby to the great god Stan, and then the argument will be over and the world will be good again.**

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose **I guess that point is very important to you** and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. **When did they get here? Nevermind…. I just realised that this all happened in the great hall … Way to disrupt students fudged** Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating…. **I DO THAT! **Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Volzemort! **:O WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE OTHER NO NOSED FIEND! **

"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer **My friend Siddarth is going to change his name to Siddarth Vadar… =D But anywaaays… when did those with the force get here?** sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!" **Voldespeares back!**

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. **… O.o** "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling. **NOOO KILL HER! CROOKSHANKS! CROOKSHANKS!**

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. **Is it even worth the joke?** Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. **Whut? I don't.. Whut? **Suddenly I locked up **good idea.. keep the creeps in** and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure **If she changed that to aura that would be so cool… **you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!" **oh shut up**

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich. **Niiiiiiice **" I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

**This is a sincere apology to those few who actually read this… I 've had these for months now and updating just slipped my mind… So, Soz boss ;) And I just looked back at my profile page… Christ on a Bike that will _have _to change. **

Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous **Just keep telling yourself that..** so fuk u**!** ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

Well we had Deviation **Hmmm… Interesting…** next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese **But people wouldn't understand**. She smelled **I wouldn't do that Sinister.. Never know where she's been** at me with her gothic black lipstick. **Wait… Sinister? I thought this was a lesson with Proffessor Trevolry? **She's da coolest fucking teacher ever **INNIT DUDE!**. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. **Dead hair? Niiice** (hr mom woz a vampire **Obvs**. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing **Everyfing? What is this Everyfing?**. she n b'loody mry **It has just occurred to me that a bloody mary is an alcoholic beverage. Too bad there's no apostrophe…** get along grate **Just makes me think of a giant cheese grater**) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand.. **This is** **how I get through lessons. Racing hands. I always win of course..**. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle fin**I have chosen the middle of this word to tell you all that my Dad is barking downstairs… ?**ger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho**e** about now?" she asked. **Sly… Honestly, how many of you noticed the added E? Bet you just thought it was one of many typos.**

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry **I wish my teachers dismissed people like that. Hang on… What happened to Sinister? **said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps **Do these preps not have names?**. "Please do exorcize (geddit **no**) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die. **Death by a bell..**

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in** Cryptic…**. I looked at it.

"What do you c **c c** t**o see what he could see see see**?" she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. **Oh Mai Gawd! Getting good now. **I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet ***chuckles* Dracos wearing a tap**, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

"**Cya twat." I said whilst hitting her with a frying pan.**

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited. **Is that what it feels like to be in a zoo? Or a museum? We should put her in a sarcophagus.. Then we don't have to see her anymore..**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up! **Beiber? liiiikely…**1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 **My computer already has vrtuz so HA!** FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

I was so excited. **IM SO EXCITED! I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!** I fellowed Draco **Fellowship of the Draco.. I've seen that filem** wandering if we where going 2 do it again. **YUCK!** We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say. **Nothing.. she saw Enobys reflection in the glass ball and got scared.**" whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine. **Ahh… I always wanted a hand plant… just In case I misplaced one of my own…**

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. **I seriously doubt that Enoby has, or will ever be sexy in any way. **He took out a heroin cabaret **I always read this as cabinet.. imagine having a heroin cabinet… that is a sign that you are addicted..** and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. **Oh sweet spork.** He started to fly the car into a tree. **Then a magic potato horse appeared, throwing tomatoes at the car until they crashed and enoby was never seen again.** We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy **Is everything sexy to her?** voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fervently **Tiling? My bathroom has tiles**. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily. **In her tool… Romantic.**

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. **Not assertively?** Suddenly… I fell asleep. **Oh my Gawsh!** I started having a dream. **She's asleep… and having a dream… WHAT IS THE WoRLD COMING TO?** In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car. **Flintstone style.**

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. **Is that like the batmobile? Or the vanilla mobile?** Butt **bottom** the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Lucian and Serious!111 **Are you Fucking Serious too? Whose Lucian?**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26. **Oh dear STAN… Chapter 26.. I think I'm gonna die. **

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11 **I did a practise exam question in Maths, and Ron and Hermione were used as names for the questions. Me and my friend then decided to go through the whole paper changing names and objects so they were Harry Potter related. My teacher was very pleased about the way we were spending time**

A few mutates **… Now this whole thing makes sense. She is a mutant. But not a cool one.** later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt. **…. Is it dark? How can she see Vampire? Its camouflage.**

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob. **'Cos that's sexy.** Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot **Is that a mix between comfort and confront.. Maybe I'll try it…** me. I started to cry tears of blood **Of course** and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" **;) already done.** Vampire shouted angrily. He4 **4? Are we starting to add numbers randomly? Ok. **started to cr**7**y sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor."

We ran out**9** of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped ***whip noise*** sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."

Dubleodre started to cockle **AHhhhh what will enoby say next?**. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" **The strange thing is… most of these words aren't made up.. so it should make sense.**

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter **I think that means there is a sea in the toot of the kraken **). "U know very well that I'm not decisional **Making decisions **_**is**_** hard**. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto! **The new type of porn? First Gorno, now pornto**"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it **Inner argument.. don't lose it's a bad sign**. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon. **London's older, taller brother/sister?**" I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. **Careful Enoby… don't give us too much detail..** After a few mistunes he came back and said people **What? No one was said previously?** were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. **Itd be more ideal to do that in the nurses office.** We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers **Good thing Draco's father didn't see them.. it was only Lucian**….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1**2345095712£%^"!**


End file.
